Monday, February 9, 2009

Drinking with a Mortician

A couple weeks ago I got to have Daniella the Mortician in for a Sapporo and a girly chit-chat about death, mortality, true love and life aspirations. Just some real light stuff.

Phew! She shared all sorts of interesting info! Like, did you know that when some people die, they have to get an anal plug rammed inside them?? This is because some people continue to leak out all of their gross inside trash juice. Nasty!! We are a disgusting species.

Daniella also gets the deadskies ready for their last close-up and occasionally applies "sexy granny" lipstick when deemed appropriate. (AKA if the bitch was fucking HOT and looked like a fiesty one when she was alive and kicking, a la Blanche Devereaux). OH!! And Daniella also tells me, if possible, get implants before you die, as it makes an embalmer's job much easier. I'm not exactly clear on how, but I believe it has to do with the fact that as we ladies get older, our titties lose their firmness and like to move around a bit. Getting implants assists the embalmer when they are trying to get your final look together and manhandle your jugs into a bra for the last time, as they are rock solid and easier to work with.

Go to and listen to Daniella explain the world of embalming to me and also shittalk on her scam artist ex-boyfriend.

Drinking with Them - Thursdays 9pm - 11pm

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